If we are being really honest, then we might find it hard to admit how many times we didn’t really show up for ourselves in the past, and maybe still in the present too.
It can be quite an endless list if we look at our self-care habits, how we behave in our relationships, how we sabotage opportunities we have.

Self-sabotage exists because as humans we might not always feel able or willing to make changes. Over the years (often decades) we have created patterns and habits, things we maintain without full awareness – we keep doing the same thing over and over, even when not all of these habits are the best for us. We get stuck in this unconscious wiring of our inner workings.

Another powerful force is that we are familiar with these habits, and sometimes it’s better the devil you know than the devil you don’t... So these engrained patterns are considered safe.

Resistance to change

So if we try to make a change we often encounter resistance and all kinds of thoughts that tell us that we won’t succeed, or ‘what’s the point of even trying’, or we just feel very uncomfortable.

When we come up against any of these things then it’s even more important to find those familiar patterns, to increase your awareness of them so we can move away from this self-sabotage, this self-betrayal.

Getting the fundamentals right

There might be times when you feel completely ready to make changes to your life, your habits. New Year’s resolutions are often in this category, and more often than not they don’t stick as these types of goals are too big and in the process of achieving them some real fundamental steps are skipped: developing the supporting mindset, the awareness of where you are not quite making the best decisions for yourself, and creating a path of smaller, incremental steps to success.

Creating new habits doesn’t happen because you just happen to start on New Year’s Day, or the day after your birthday. New habits are created by conscious choice, and sometimes you have to start just really small.

The first small step to lasting change

We all start from different positions and we can probably all come up with some different ways we’d like to do ‘life’ to move from self-sabotage to self-support. So it is important to recognise that the first step will be different for everyone.

But I’d like to encourage you to make a promise to yourself to do something small, like drinking a glass of water in the morning to help rehydrate your body after sleeping. You can decide that that is the only thing you change for now, and you keep that going for three to four weeks.

A daily promise to yourself

Making that little daily promise to yourself that you will do this every morning and then sticking to it will help you see that you can do it. No matter how small an action you have inserted into your day, the psychological benefit cannot be underestimated, because the way you do one thing, is the way you do everything. And once you know that you can make a small habit stick, then you can add another small promise to yourself: one more small thing, like focusing on your breathing for one minute per day.

Empower yourself, and go easy on yourself too. You might not be completely consistent to start with and that’s okay, but as soon as you become aware of not aligning your actions with your little daily promise, you can choose to step back in the saddle.

Avoid hitting the brick wall

Don’t set yourself up to hit the brick wall! Real lasting change and the creation of new habits are most successful if you start small and stack them up. Try and do too much too many too soon and you’ll find yourself back at square one pretty quick as the resistance will be too big and you’re not setting yourself up in a way that you can gently lean into this resistance to find a way through.

If you’d like some help getting clear on what habits you’d like to maybe break or develop, drop me a line or find a slot in my calendar for a complimentary discovery call... I’d be very happy to talk this through with you.
https://calendly.com/rennyslade/goal-clarity-session

Have a great week,
Renny