Communication Obstacles Survey - Exciting preliminary results are in!
Over the last few weeks I have conducted a big survey on Communication Obstacles, and I am so pleased with the response I have had. There were 132 participants who completed the 10 questions to help me with research for the book I am writing, and I am positively overwhelmed by the mountain of data I am excited to start processing now!
This is what I want to share with you:
The results so far
The conclusion
A quick tool for managing frustration
Survey results
It will take a bit of time to get a clear analysis because of the wonderful amount of information I will love processing. However, a good few exciting hours of looking at the answers has given me an idea of some themes that seem to crop up, and I’d like to share a few highlights with you. Some of the themes confirm thoughts and ideas I already had, but there are also some welcome surprises.
Highlights
- Frustration... an overwhelming 73 out of 132 respondents say that this is what they experience when a conversation doesn’t go well (and trust me: I’m the 74th respondent!). Wow, that is a major response and absolute at the top of the list, followed by impatience (44/132), upset (41/132), worry (35/132), anger (34/132) and hurt (32/132).
These can all be quite strong emotions that potentially form barriers to clear communication. The numbers also confirm my clinical experience as a massage therapist and personal development coach – I am writing about this in my book to further explore why these emotions act as barriers and how they can be overcome.
- 99 out of 132 respondents want to help people when they are upset and 98/132 feel that they are good listeners. Great stuff! In my book I will address the art of listening and helping someone in an empowering way, and the survey input is of great value to me to help me explore this subject.
- The emotions respondents find most difficult to deal with in other people are aggression/hostility (86/132), superiority (70/132), anger (63/132), dismissal (56/132), and indifference (55/132).
In my book I will investigate how emotions can influence communication by giving examples of situations where people were faced with challenging emotions, and I will explore which responses are most likely to keep the conversation on the right track.
Eye-openers/very good pointers from the survey responses
- Medical conditions can affect communication because of speech and processing difficulties, e.g. after a stroke.
- 50% of respondents would like to more be able to ‘Say No’, and 49% would like to be better at keeping the desired outcome of the conversation clear.
- Most of the obstacles to good communication seem to be experienced with the people nearest and dearest, and less so in work situations. A majority of respondents say that they struggle to communicate with ‘Parents’ (39 out of 132). This is not what I expected to see, as I thought that ‘Spouse/partner/significant’ other would be on top (although it is closely following ‘Parents’ with 36 out of 132 respondents).
I am just wondering why this might be... Do you think it is a generational thing and related to how differently younger generations seem to communicate through texts and social media, more than in person? Or do you think it is more because you can never stop ‘being the child’ – no matter how grown-up you are? Do any other possible reasons come to mind?
To help me further understand, and if you are willing to share your thoughts, please quickly hit the reply button and let me know in brief why you think that ‘Parents’ might be on top of the list – I’d love to hear from you.
Conclusion of preliminary analysis:
I can feel a series of 'The Wise Learner - blogs' coming on!
Thanks to the survey data I’ve got a lot of interesting information to process, and even more to write about! I am looking forward to starting a series of blogs based on the data and to give you flavour I have included below my 'ABC to Manage Frustration' which I hope you find useful.
Then keep an eye out for the first next one in a few weeks. If you would like to hear from me before then, or you have a specific question or comment, please drop me an email.
My ABC to Manage Frustration:
The next time you find yourself in one of those frustrating conversations, be gentle on yourself. I understand that it is not what you want to experience but for now it might be the best you can do – knowing that it is possible to change over time.
So here is my ABC to manage Frustration:
A – Accept
B – Breathe
C – Check reality
It all starts with A – Accept it for what it is. It is okay to not get it right. Be nice to yourself, don’t beat yourself up or get frustrated about feeling frustrated...
Instead, go to B – Breathe... if one slow, deep breath is all you can do, then take it. Cherish those few seconds as they can make the world of difference to what you might do next. I wrote about this a while ago (‘That one breath’) but I’ll write a blog at some point soon about different ways of focussing on your breathing and how it can impact how you feel and the choices you make – and the things you say.
And C – Check reality. I’ll go into more detail about that some other time. Just keep breathing for now!
And finally...
I can’t wait to get my book out there for everyone to read!
Best wishes, and please get in touch if I can be of any further help to you,
Renny
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Renny Slade – The Wise Learner
www.thewiselearner.com
(+44)07837-476774